


No Beta: We Die Like Men

by Immerghensi



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, M/M, No Smut, scavenger hunt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-02
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:55:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 12,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22083727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Immerghensi/pseuds/Immerghensi
Summary: Ateez is a group with only Alpha and Omega members. Welcome to the fourth bi-annual KQ Games.
Relationships: Choi Jongho/Choi San, Jeong Yunho/Song Mingi, Jung Wooyoung/Kang Yeosang, Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa
Comments: 17
Kudos: 158





	1. Let the Games Begin

**Author's Note:**

> This is not at all serious. I barely know what's going on

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ateez picks their teams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so tired that I am awake. Everything is hilarious. I can't stop laughing. I haven't slept since yesterday so I'm going to go to Walmart at 6am and buy my food for dinner, store it in the fridge at work, and confuse all my coworkers. My 12-hour coma after work awaits me, and I am already ready to go home

Previously called the 'Running of the Ateez', there were four critical elements in the bi-annual KQ Games: speed, strength, stamina, and critical thinking. Judged in correctness, creativity, and timing, the eight-day scavenger hunt featured a new challenge the two teams raced to solve. 

The prize: a meal of their choice, no holds barred. 

Everyone is in tip-top shape. There are no ruts or heats on the horizon according to their mish-mashed predictions based on last year's events, which is perfect because it would be awkward to be in fierce competition all day then go back and cuddle together, and though they all loved one another dearly, they played no games when it came to the Games. 

  
PD steps in the center of the circle with eight sticks clenched in his fist. "Players, pick your numbers." 

Together, the members step forward, each one grabbing hold of a stick, and together, they draw them. 

"And now for the captains..." He produces an eight-sided die from his pocket, blows on it as per tradition, and rolls. 

"Seven!" Yeosang steps forward. 

"One!" Wooyoung joins him in the center. The others cluster together in front of the two captains, their backs to the camera crew. One brave cameraperson runs in to get a close up of the critical rock-paper-scissors match. The two stare at each other and then, without looking away, throw their signs. PD removes his glasses to closely inspect the result. 

"Wooyoung, you have first pick." 

Wooyoung's eyes flick across the group. If he could, he would have taken Yeosang so he had some muscle on his side, but as it were, he and his Alpha are on opposite teams this season.

"Jongho." The Alpha joins him on his right. As the designated strongman, Jongho would be sure to beat any member at a contest of strength. Fireman carry? He's got it. Boulder pull? No problem? Win a round of Giant Jenga? Maybe not his best event, but he'll anchor his teammates and yell encouragement while they wiggle out a brick. 

"Hongjoong." Yeosang calls not a second later, happy to be getting the smartest member of their pack. The Omega was the best at problem-solving and would have no trouble deciphering whatever vague prompt KQ decided to give them. Yeosang knows for a fact that Hongjoong has been glued to his brain-training apps for the past two weeks. His mind is so deep in the puzzles he might as well be a conspiracy theorist. 

Wooyoung eyes Yeosang with a look of 'I love you and you are going _DOWN_ ' as he calls for Mingi to join his team. As a dancer, Mingi would have the stamina to do several 100-meter dashes (as he had done in their 2nd Games) and scale a telephone pole in record time (as Seonghwa had reluctantly done in their 1st). The Alpha had so much chaotic energy, and if Wooyoung could point it in the right direction, Mingi would blast them off like a rocket to victory. 

"San." Yeosang's team nods in approval at bagging the fastest and most athletic member of their pack, the Omega having won several challenges simply by trying and failing and trying so many combinations of puzzles. Everyone remembers that time with the lake where San fished out at least twelve different objects because no one knew which one he was supposed to get, and how KQ had found it so amusing that they'd been awarded bonus points for effort. San runs full speed ahead to his side and tackles Yeosang and Hongjoong once he gets there. 

"Yunho." Wooyoung calls, sending Seonghwa to Yeosang. Mingi butts heads with his Alpha mate; an unusual pairing, yet they were so individually powerful that no one dared to speak a word against it. Yunho had nearly concussed Hongjoong that singular time they fought with blow-up swords, and no one was willing to challenge his sense of proprioception. Yunho had a knack for spatial thinking, and with his increased stamina from dancing, he was a formidable foe in the Games. 

This was not to say that Seonghwa was not formidable either; his abilities in the speed and critical thinking departments had gotten his team out from between a rock and a hard place more than once. With the double Omega team, the abilities of both him and his mate were quadrupled. If any of the challenges involved building furniture from Ikea, they were as good as won.

In the span of a twenty-second team pep-talk and huddle, Wooyoung's and Yeosang's teams name themselves "I Would Die for You" and "Then Perish", respectively. They all get into the ready position.

"Players, on your marks! Get set!" PD yells into a megaphone, and there will probably be some kind of banner when the clip gets posted on their channel, but that's an issue for the editors and not Ateez. A series of air raid sirens go off, the sun now rising in the distance, signifying the start of the challenge. All eyes and cameras are on them as Wooyoung and Yeosang lead their teams to retrieve the first task.

"Welcome to Day 1- let the games begin!" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took me 10 minutes to plan and 45 minutes to write. I'm going to work now. My boss is going to be so confused.  
> Lmao me too bro


	2. Slippery People

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day one of the KQ games are underway!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title is based on Talking Heads' [Slippery People](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZCHv9jHHgwU).

The entire cohort of kids with poor eyesight stumbles around through the field to the edge of the woods where they can see two figures, each one holding a box. Somewhere along the way, Yeosang trips, so San takes it upon himself to tackle the lead out of Wooyoung, which causes Yunho to trip over them while the remaining four run ahead. Mingi reaches the blue box first and finds that it's being held by Lee Keonhee; the other being held by Yeo Hwanwoong, both ~~kidnapped~~ on loan from RBW. Hongjoong grabs hold of the red box and crashes into the little Beta. 

"Trial One, Part A." He reads while still tangled with Hwanwoong, Seonghwa tearing the lid off the box only to find a receipt from Walmart for one item: a garden gnome. 

"What does that mean?" San, now back from the field, asks. He looks inside to see a garden gnome-shaped hole in the bottom of the box. 

"I think we have to go find this and bring it back." 

"What's the plan?" All eyes turn to Yeosang. Looking over his shoulder, it looks like Team I Would Die For You is already developing some sort of strategy, which adds to Seonghwa's antsy dance since he's been vocal about how much he wants Wagyu beef this Games. 

"Let's run around back and sweep towards the front. We'll split up and meet at the box." 

Team IWDFY sprints off in separate directions straight into the forest while Team Then Perish does a hamfisted hoo-rah to bolster their spirits. Hongjoong and San run off to go around one way while Yeosang and Seonghwa go off in the other. After five minutes of searching, they hear what sounds like Wooyoung and Yeosang fistfighting one another, though it was entirely possible that they were having a moment to themselves to aggressively love one another, as was commonplace in their dorm. Seonghwa continures searching down his section alone and sees Yunho in the distance looking under a rotting log. 

"I GOT IT!" Mingi, San, and Jongho yell from completely different directions.

The entire forest freezes.   
Yeosang sees another garden gnome. 

++

The two teams faces down a small army of gnomes after an hour and a half of scouring the forest. At one point, Yunho and Mingi attempted to chase down Hongjoong to claim him as the best gnome in the hopes of scoring creativity points, but stopped once they realize that San was stealing their little stash of lawn gnomes from their secret stash. 

  
Team I Would Die For You manages to cram their lawn gnome into the box first, but there's still hope- Part B of the challenge comes when Kim Leedo and Lee Seoho stumble out of the back of a pickup truck with two clear tote bags filled with sponges, soap, and makeup palettes. They hand off their bags with the same precaution one would use to feed an unfamiliar zoo animal. 

"Trial One, Part B." Hongjoong holds out the paper so all of them can read, "'Slippery People'. Pick one member as your 'champion' and send them to the other team for the next trial. Await further instructions." 

Team Then Perish mutters to themselves as they lose Seonghwa and gain Yunho. 

Dots begin scrolling by on the monitor. They shout the three words together: 

"EVERYBODY.  
CLEAN.  
UP." 

A deafening siren goes off to signal the start of Part B.   
Hongjoong, Yeosang, and San turn their heads to slowly look at Yunho, who has fear written all over his face. He doesn't make it too far with San jumping on his back and Yesoang dragging him down at the waist. Hongjoong grabs onto his leg like a small child and rides the 14 meters until they finally fell the giant. 

"Quick! To the washroom!" San and Hongjoong each carry one beefy leg while Yeosang waddles backwards with Yunho's upper half. The other group still hasn't managed to catch Seonghwa since they lost their runner, but Mingi is getting awfully close to catching him, and it looks ilke their eldest is running towards the house instead of parallel or away from it. 

"OTHER WAY! OTHER WAY!" San yells while bending over to match Hongjoong's height. THe noise temporarily startles Seonghwa, who gets bulldozed by Mingi not a second later, then escpaes due to the Alpha landing face-first in his scent glad and being dazed by the overwhelming scent of honeysuckle creme. He wriggles out and makes it another five meters before Wooyoung lands on top of him and proceeds to deafen him with calls for his teammates to grab Team Perish's champion. Jongho hoists Seonghwa over his shoulder and jogs out of sight into the building. 

Keonhee, Hwanwoong, Leedo, and Seoho are each offered a bucket of popcorn and a lawnchair to sit on so they can watch the event, but it isn't even 10 AM yet so they pass. 

"That was so weird..." Leedo shakes his head, strapping himself back onto the bed of the pickup truck. Seoho straps himself in besides the Omega. 

"Yeah, but now I know how to kick your ass at the next RBW Tournament." 

++

They come back in with bruises all over their bodies from Yunho flailing. He'd definitely put up great resistance while they'd tried to clean him up, but with the combined strength of JoongSanSang, they'd managed to get the Alpha squeaky-clean and in a new outfit. Their own soaked and forest-dirtied clothes are still spinning in the wash. 

"What happened after I left?" Seonghwa is still wiping off the smears of makeup criss-crossing his face three hours after the second challenge ended. 

"Yeosang picked him up and suplexed him into the bath fully clothed and we scrubbed him down, but then he slipped out and started running around the front yard so Hongjoong had to chase him with the sprinkler."

"So it was a good trial?" 

"Yeah." San shrugs, "What about you?" 

Seonghwa tries to unstick the sparkle-sparkle from his left cheek. "It took them a while to get me, but then Jongho did a full-body headlock while the others scrubbed me down." 

"Ooooh...." Yeosang considers the other ways the trial could have gone. Putting Yunho in a headlock would have made putting highlight on him much easier)."That would have been a good idea. Maybe we should have done that." 

"But since you all went into the tub with Yunho, you all ended up cleaner than the other team." 

He did have a point. The teams never got a chance to argue their way into extra points, not after the first day of their first Games when Jongho and Wooyoung, belonging to teams 'I Can Shownu the World' and 'Thotimus Prime', respectively, got into a heated argument over whether or not flipping the canoe counted as a win or a loss. Yeosang is about to ask Seonghwa if the others took any pictures while wrassling him, but Hongjoong thunders down the hall and swings himself full-force into the room.

"Guys! Results are out!!!" 

The members come barreling outside, one after the other, colliding with the other team. Eight neon faces reflect the colors of the billboard in the backyard. 

**IWDFY: 367**  
**PERISH: 933**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was very awake for this one.  
> Stay tuned for day 2?


	3. Say My Name

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Team I Would Die For You Has to be the best, like no one was before.  
> Team Then Perish needs make like Sonic the Hedgehog.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The full-speed-ahead shopping cart scene was actually what started this whole story.

Yunho hasn't stopped grumbling to himself for the past ten minutes, ever since the crate was dropped in front of him and he and Jongho were out on build duty. It looks like a shopping cart, or at least it's supposed to look like a cart, but they're treating it more like a half-baked Trojan horse. 

"Five minutes!" someone yells, and Yunho's grumbling gets faster as he tries to tie the two posts he screwed up together with a piece of climbing rope. It looks like it'll hold, but it doesn't hurt to say a quick prayer to the construction gods, please, to keep this thing together. He tests the wheels to see if they'll go smoothly, which... well at least they _move_ , that's something. 

It should have been been a bit bigger, but an airhorn went off at the halfway point causing Jongho to accidentally fling the cart into the ceiling, destroying it, leading to a 5-7 minute panic and brainstorming session. 

They still aren't sure what the task is, but they double down and opt for making their creation like an on-land catamaran. Today's game is in some kind of big building with laminate floors and echoey halls, but beyond that, they've got no indication of what they're supposed to make. Will they do Go Kart racing? Will they trebuchet it off a roof? No one knows, and the brains are on the other team, wherever they may be. It's been a while since they pulled into parking lot at 7, and though the sun was beginning to set, there was no sign of Yeosang's team. 

"One minute!" 

Jongho swings his hammer to get the pegs on the wooden posts to stick together, then wraps some duct tape around it. He's deadly focused with the time pressure. 

Up ahead, a monitor flashes blue with an analog-type loading screen waiting for input. Yunho busies himself with the second roll of duct tape going around the other joints for extra safety. 

Mingi and Wooyoung come back in wearing jeans, weird hats, and holding colorful balls, looking like they've just been dragged through several universes and spit out the end of a curly-q slide. Up on the screen, the other team is touring one of the hallways they may or may not have passed earlier (they all look the same, ok? give him a break). 

"We chose 'Say My Name'. Are you guys ready?" Mingi announces, unprovoked. Jongho gives him a look as a solitary bead of sweat forms on his brow; a result of him holding the whole cart together while Yunho does laps around it with the roll of duct tape. 

"What does that have to do with anything?" 

"I don't know." Wooyoung shrugs, climbing into the oversized cart. He fiddles around with the boombox in his lap, slapping it a few times to get it get the strange intro flute music to play. Mingi hands him the fishing net. 

"Here, take these. Don't know why we'll need them yet, but they wouldn't give us something if they didn't intend on us using it." Mingi shoots him a look. He's obviously displeased at being reminded of the Great Red Herring challenge from their first Games. 

"10! 9! 8!"

The members from the other team can hear the countdown too and move from from frame to frame in an desperate scramble.

"7! 6! 5!" 

The monitor on the screen flashes one phrase.

**GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL**

They all look at one another in confusion. 

"4!

3!

2!

1!"

The air horn blares, the door inside opens, and they're off.

++

The only thing Hongjoong knows is that he's gotta go fast, but his brain is so fried from being so high-strung that the puzzlebox jitters violently in his hands. Seonghwa ran off ahead- he's got the best chance of solving a puzzle on his own if he finds one- and Yeosang ran off to seek out more puzzle spots. There are 20, as far as they know, but there could be more. The goal is to solve as many of them as they can within the time limit- like a real stealth mission. Team IWDFY is going to try to stop them, or so they say. 

"Come on, come on..." he mutters as though it would convince the pieces to click together. With San's hand on his shoulder, he can feel the other Omega turning to check over his shoulder every ten seconds and it really isn't helping with his nerves. There can't be more than 3 more locks on this thing- there's physically no way! Hopefully the others are having a better time. 

San's grip tightens on his shoulder. 

"S-"

"Shhh!" San turns with a finger over his lips, then whips back around. 

Hongjoong doesn't dare move. He quiets his body and the ambience of the room and listens for disturbances in the air.   
And then he hears it.

###### Say my name, say my name, say my name

##### Say my name, say my name, say my name

"No way...." 

#### Nareul bullyeojweo na-na-naruel bullyeojweo  
Nae soneul jababwa nae nunuel barabwa

Rounding the corner is Wooyoung holding a boombox over his head, riding in what at first looks like a runaway shopping cart, but was actually a speeding shopping cart poiloted by Mingi barrelling full speed ahead.   
There's no stopping them.   
They've been spotted. 

"GO! GO! GO!!!" San screams, pulling Hongjoong up. The adrenaline courses through him as they frantically tear down the long hall.

### Nae ireumeun ireumeun A to the Z

### Nae ireumeun ireumeun

The ominous sound of their own song gaining on them fuels their rush until they round their second corner and see a very confused Seonghwa and Yeosang working on a puzzle in the wall. 

"GOTTA GO! GOTTA GO!!!" San does the 'wrap it up' motion as they careen towards them, and when Mingi roudns the corner after them with Wooyougn in the cart, now holding the fishing net, they bolt up and tear down the hall to their right while Hongjoong and San head for the left. 

## NAE SONEUL JABABWA NAE NUNEUL BARABWA

# FIX ON! YAH!

"Split up!" he yells, knowing that if they do, Mingi and Wooyoung will have to make a choice whether they want to go after him or San. They come to a four-way intersection. San takes off down the straightaway, knowing that with his speed and endurance, he can easier outrun the cart. Hongjoong darts into a hallway on the right since his smaller body will give him an advantage over sharp corners. The thunderous sound of 'Say My Name' is fast approaching 

_Go for Joong-hyung!!!_ He hears Yunho yell across through a speaker. 

Mingi and Wooyoung follow his directions.   
Hongjoong is starting to get a cramp. 

++

It's getting dark outside, and the blue light is making their eyes water. Yunho has a displeased look on his face, tears streaming down his cheeks as he tries to map which cameras are facing in which direction so they can guide Mingi and Wooyoung, who are now walking up and down halls waiting to spot one of Team Perish's members. 

"Do you see them?" 

"Nope." Jongho is sitting perfectly still. In one hand is the radio; the other on a crudely-drawn mockup of a map they put together before they knew what the full course looked like. His eyes are glued to one particular block of four monitors where he could've sworn he saw movement just a moment ago. He keeps his eyes trained on the images until he sees a flash of color pass by in the very edge of one frame. 

"THERE!!!" Jongho clicks the button on the walkie-talkie. "Mingi, take your second right!" 

"My what?!" Mingi yells as he takes the second right. He's loud enough that the speakers stationed next to the wall-mounted cameras pick him up from all the way down the hall, so Jongho and Yunho can still hear them. On another monitor, they can see a figure now running down a corridor while checking over his shoulder for the sight of Mingi and Wooyougn Nae Ireumeun-ing all over the place. He may have a head start, but Yunho's teammates were _fast_. 

"Almsot there, Yeosang inbound!" 

They watch as Mingi, long legs and powerful thighs, races towards the Alpha with Wooyoung yelling something about how he wants his mate to come give him a hug. He's partially leaned out of the cart, arms outstretched to scoop up Yeosang as soon as they get close enough. In their pursuit, they end up passing San and Seonghwa in two completely different sectors of the building, but that's ok- they can get them later. For now, priorities. 

++

San makes it to the end of the countdown without being caught, much to the delight of Team Perish and the annoyance of IWDFY. The airhorn goes off again to signal the end of the challenge, and Wooyoung tumbles out of the shopping cart just so he can join San and Mingi on the ground while they try to regain their breath.

Cut to an hour later, everyone is back in their respective dorms sharing stories from the day. Yunho recalls how confused they were when out of nowhere, Wooyoung had tossed Hongjoong out of the cart and into their little viewing party. Wooyoung recounts how difficult it was to tackle their leader into the shopping cart in the first place. Everyone has a laugh. Said shopping cart is nowhere to be seen; but they suppose it's ok. Mingi is laying face down on the floor. Jongho is checking out the wicked bruises from where the cart had accidentally hit him on its way back down from the ceiling. 

"Careful, careful!" Mingi hisses, annoyed woodsy campfire scent radiating from him, and then a light coming from the backyard casts a bright neon light onto his face. 

"Results are out!" Yunho moves to get up, but is stopped by two hands on his arms and a pout. 

"Carry me?" Mingi does grabby hands at him, causing Wooyoung to chuckle.

"You're gonna break my back one day." Yunho says, but he could never say no to Mingi and his puppy eyes, so he squats down low enough for his mate to comfortably jump on piggyback-style. The other group walks out from their side of the dorm to the backyard to join them. 

**IWDFY: 2058**  
**PERISH: 1798**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've got too many stories and not enough endings. My schedule is nonexistent and I can't figure out to get back on my writing stream.


	4. Stayin' Alive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another one bites the dust?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few months ago I learned that you can do CPR chest compress ions to the tune of 'Stayin' Alive' by the Bee Gees.  
> You could also do it to 'Another One Bites the Dust' by Queen, but then you get -20 morale points for every verse (but +10 for singing the guitar/bass parts 
> 
> My brain is so toasty that i can't think straight.

Mama didn't raise no quitter but she also raised a child with one of the worst deadleg cases on this side of the funny pain Richter scale. Wooyoung tumbles out of bed the morning of Day 3 and goes 

_Boom_  
_Bobobooom_

to the ground. He expands his chest as much as possible around his bent arm and screams. 

"JONGHOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

A second. 

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT???" The maknae yells back. He inhales again. 

"I'VE FALLEN!   
AND I CAN'T GET UP!!!" 

He doesn't hear anyone coming to his rescue and assumes that the Alpha has gone back to sleep. 

"JONGHOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"I can HEAR you Wooyoung, I'll be there in a MINUTE!" He shouts back. In the room next door, there's another squawk and a thud, most likely from Mingi attempting to blindly run out of his bed because he thinks he's late to schedules for the 4 millionth time. 

"YUNHOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Mingi screams. 

It's going to be a long day. 

++

Manager Seung carries him like a droopy cat out of the dorm and then out of the car and then into the building, though he flat out refuses to carry Wooyoung to the bathroom. ("I've seen some things." He apparently said to Yeosang while waiting outside, "I've seen so many things...".) (Yeosang offers him some coffee and a pat on the shoulder and transfers his mate to his own back.) If he had to put a name to it, Wooyoung imagined that this was what being hit by a luxury cruise ship felt like. 

The two teams meet up at the same door and head into the same plain room with a simple board on the wall that has a 2x4 grid of their names with an empty bottom row. The two boxes currently read '0' each and have a lit-up '=' in between a dimmed '>' and a '<'. Little pixelated hearts beat beside each name. 

"Put these on." One of the staffs says, passing them heart monitors to put on their fingers. 

As they do, numbers in the 90's appear place of the hearts. The staffs leave to stand in the adjacent room, preferring instead to watch through a viewing window like Ateez is some sort of science experiment, which is mildly concerning but what would Games be if they weren't? In a flash of light, each cell on the wall turns on and off, round and round around the board until it finally settles on Yeosang. His heart monitor results expand to fill up the whole grid. An electric buzzer announces the start of the game and nearly gives Yeosang a heart attack, the Alpha's heartrate jumping up to 99, turning green. The buzzer counts off 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, and Yeosang calms himself enough to turn his number back to red. 

"Wait I don't get it." Mingi whispers, but Wooyoung and his big Omega brain have got it. 

"It's that Weekly Idol game!" He jumps up and stumbles a bit, forgetting about his deadleg in his excitement. The members 'oooh' in understanding. The look of terror is contagious. Yeosang looks like he's going to die on the spot, but the second that his mate climbs into his lap, a loud car alarm goes off.

"Wait... what?"

The alarm blares in rapid succession and they have a mini-dance party as Wooyoung pats Yeosang's shoulder. It would have been so much easier if they could touch, but he supposes it's for the best. Instead, he settles for putting Yeosang though his fifth existential crisis. 

"So you remember how 10:00 is Scary Thoughts time? So last night I was thinking...." 

The Alpha leaves the hotseat with a heart rate of 105 and a look of horror etched on his face. 

++

Mingi and Yunho make good work of Seonghwa and Hongjoong, the duo vividly describing their plans to destroy the dorm with their latest hair-brained and less than scientific scheme to their eldest and doing such atrocious aegyo that their leader looks like he wants to get swallowed up by the earth and never come out. No one is really sure what to do for San other than to put Jongho in front of him and wait, but they do get a rise out of Mingi by singing a very off key cathartic screaming version of 'Into the Unknown'.

Wooyoung mistakenly thinks that Jongho's got this challenge in the bag when Yeosang steps on the floor and cracks his knuckles, but he feels the color drain from his face when he brings out San, and everyone knew that Jongho, like a fire Pokemon, was weak against a water baby like San. The Omega acts like he's going to explode if he doesn't cause chaos every 4.5 seconds, and that's good because he's undoubtedly the best at this kind of challenge. They have faith in Jongho, but up against a force like San, anything was possible. 

San goes over to Team IWDFY and grabs hold of Wooyoung. After a second, he lets go.

He was testing to the siren system, Wooyoung realizes as San jumps up onto Yunho's back and rubs their cheeks together in an odd nuzzle. His nose pokes into the scent gland by his neck. God, his dimples are showing. 

"Yunho-yah, you smell so good!" He snuggles in further, slipping a little and forcing Yunho to pop him back up. 

Jongho lets out an audible growl and his heartrate jumps up 10 points. Wooyoung understands why the staffs would want to be protected by a whole wall. 

++

Thank goodness they can't touch one another, otherwise Yunho would be in the grave. The four members of Team Perish are all seated in front of him on the floor, looking up at him with wide, happy eyes. San has his legs out in front of him like a child while Hongjoong has put his knees up to his chest and wrapped himself up into the cutest bundle of leader possible. Seonghwa in on his stomach doing a sort-of rendition of the cobra yoga pose.   
And Yeosang.  
Even though they're both Alphas and Yeosang's scent is heavy and can dark like [death's head](https://longwinterfarm.com/products/deaths-head-perfume-oil), he's just so _cute_. For some reason, he'd thought to wear one of his big, oversized sweaters and now he had sweater paws and Wooyoung can already see the effect. Yunho is trying so, so hard not to scream. He wants to do his best for the sake of the Games. 

The alarm rings. 

Seonghwa is the first one to jump on him. "So tall and handsome! And Yunho is kind, we're so lucky to have him in our group." 

"Yunho best boy!" Hongjoong's eyes disappear into his smile. 

"Yunho can dance so well and teach us even better! He's so talented and hard-working." Yeosang chirps. 

Wooyoung holds his breath. 

Holds it...

...

Nope. No way. He can't do it. 

He lets out a loud, face-splitting laugh at the way his hyungs are acting, and even better, how Yunho is _re_ acting.  
Mingi, though some might suspect him to be jealous or possessive while watching his mate be complimented by pretty Omegas and a very pretty Alpha, is rolling on the floor laughing so hard that no sound is coming out. The members knew Yunho so well, and they knew how flustered he got when being complimented. To be honest, they'd probably learned it from watching Mingi. 

"Oppa, you're so big and soft and cuddly." San says, fully knowing how Yunho becomes jelly whenever one of them whipped out the o-word on him. "You give the best hugs." 

Seonghwa self-squishes his cheeks. "Yunho teddy bear hugs! So nice and warm!!!" 

"Oppa, cuddle me~" Yeosang wraps his arms around himself and twists around like a pouty child. 

Yunho turns a violent shade of red. His heartrate goes so high that the staff have to call in professional medical assistance. Thank goodness it was only four and not seven of his members complimenting him, otherwise he would probably squeal in delight and then promptly combust into a pile of glitter and happiness. 

"I love my members so much!" he cries to the confused Alpha EMT who has no idea who any of these kids are and why they're intentionally trying to send one another in cardiac arrest. 

"Sir, I- Sir, we need you to let go." The second EMT, an equally as confused Beta, attempts to pry Yunho's arms off while the rest of Ateez looks on apologetically. The Alpha EMT manages to get Yunho into the ambulance by shuffling with him, still attached, into the back of the van. 

"Can we come with him?" Wooyoung asks, hoping his puppy eyes will do the trick. 

"You can meet us there." The Beta EMT sighs. He closes the doors from the outside since the Alpha can't reach and needs his other hand to make sure that Yunho doesn't get himself riled up again over the doe-like stares the members are giving him not even four feet away. One of their teamates goes to bag a manager, the rest of them attempting to find where the van was parked in the first place. Jongho comes back out with Manager Eunha over his shoulder, the woman trying not to spill her coffee as the maknae rushes to meet the rest of the group. 

The medical wings isn't ready for them either, the few startled Omegas orderlies jumping three feet in the air when the rest of Yunho's cohort arrives. 

++

The doctor sends Yunho home with a _look_ and a warning to not exert himself like that again, which Yunho knows for certain he'll ignore for at least the next five days. The rest of Team I Would Die For You greets him at the door with smiles and cupcakes. He's a little worried since they should be asleep, but he does appreciate the effort. 

"For me?" He asks, hand pressed dramatically over his heart. 

"Welcome back!!!"

The cupcakes forgotten, Mingi nuzzles into Yunho and they settle down with a loud sigh on the living room carpet. "Sorry about losing the challenge. I didn't think that would happen. We're behind again."

""It's not too bad, not by much. Have some faith. Team IWDFY- fighting!" Wooyoung does the little cheer Yeosang taught him, and it's all OKagain. 

**IWDFY: 2390**  
**PERISH: 2444**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fully aware that I need to heavily edit this whole thing, but I'm literally writing three words at a time and making mistakes left and rgiht, so I'm gonna leave that for tomorrow. 
> 
> I was going to have Woo say something dirty but thought that it would be too cliche. Also, one day I want to see idols do the heartrate game but one of them tells a story that makes the other person laugh so hard that their heartrate goes through the roof and they win. Or they compliment Yunho enough to get his face looking like a tomato
> 
> I started this while I was super awake and am now almost falling sleep.


	5. Crazy Train

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 4, the most popular of days, gets broadcasted on national television

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Experimental style ahead!

**News Anchor 1** : Welcome back, sports fans, to the bi-annual KQ games! Things are heating up here heading into Day 4. Team Then Perish, led by Alpha Kang Yeosang, is currently in the lead with 2444 points, up from Jung Wooyoung's team, I Would Die For You with 2390

 **News Anchor 1** : It's a close race, but luckily we have Eunha on the scene, down at the entrance to the maze. Eunha what are your thoughts so far? Who do you think will come out victorious? 

**News Anchor 2** : Good afternoon, Kangho. It's tough to say, but we've been seeing strong, consistent performances over the course of the last three Games. We have the combined intelligence of Omega couple Park Seonghwa and Kim Hongjoong, and we've also got Jongho and San on opposite teams for the first time. We'll have to see how Jeong Yunho holds up after being released from the hospital after yesterday's 125 bpm heartrate scare, but with today's challenge, anything is possible

 **News Anchor 1** : Thank you, Eunha. And speaking of today's challenge, we have our own Junhyuk in the gamehouse with KQ staff to tell us all about it. Junhyuk?

[]

[]

[]

 **News Anchor 1** : Junhyuk, are-

 **News Anchor 3** : IM HERE WITH KQ MANAGER TAESIK-

 **Manager 1** : My name is Taeyong-

 **News Anchor 3** : -MANAGER, TELL US ABOUT TODAY'S VENUE

 **Manager** : I- yeah, cool, ok. Today's challenge features a sealed maze made of long corridors. There are four doors, one for each pair, and many nooks and hideaways for people to camp in.

 **News Anchor 3** : AND HOW IS IT PLAYED?

 **Manager 1** : We set up the game to have nine different Nerf blasters, each with a different colored dart, and two melee weapons. The players may only wield one weapon at a time and can only fire that weapon's corresponding dart. If players are hit with a dart or a projectile, they must go back to the starting point together to revive

 **Manager 1** : BUT! When a player is hit, they must switch weapons with the person who hit them. Only the teammate has to switch, but both have to go back

 **News Anchor 3** : HOW DO YOU WIN? 

**Manager 1** : In addition to the eleven available weapons, there is one large golden dart, the One True Dart, which will decide the winner. Players must shoot one another to gain better weapons in order to successfully shoot and switch with whoever has the dart. You cannot hold a blaster and the dart at the same time. It is disrespecting the dart. The game will go on for one hour- whoever has the One True Dart at the end, wins 

**Manager 1** : You got that, guys?

 **Ateez** : YES SIR! 

**Hongjoong** : burueme eungdap-

 **News Anchor 3** : THANK YOU FOR YOUR EXPLANATION. KANGHO, BACK TO YOU

 **News Anchor 1** : Thank you, Junhyuk, that was very... um... Anyway! Why don't we get into the teams. There's an interesting history to the Games new fans might not know. For the next 24 hours, the two teams as you know them do not exist! Instead, there are four pairs with a member from each team. The prize is a meal of the winner's choice. This gives at least one of them the chance to have a special meal, though most of the time, they share

 **News Anchor 4** : What a good pack, looking out for each other

 **News Anchor 1** : Indeed! This year, we have Choi San and Choi Jongho as well as Kang Yeosang and Jung Wooyoung as the obvious pairs. Now, we have Park Seonghwa with Jeong Yunho and Kim Hongjoong with Song Mingi

 **News Anchor 4** : That's right! And as a favorite day, all of KQ's staff come out to watch the events, including PD!

 **News Anchor 2** : How are you doing out there PD?

[]

 **News Anchor 2** : Alright it looks like PD has chosen flag signals for this year's Game and-- It looks like he's excited to be here today. As everyone knows, Day 4 is a special day. He says... 

[]

 **News Anchor 2** : He says that he looks forward to overseeing today's challenge and... 

[]

 **News Anchor 2** : He wishes everyone the best. Thanks PD! We- oh right, where did I put my flags--

 **News Anchor 1** : And it looks like the challenge is about to begin! The managers are bringing the pairs to their doors.... they're untying the blindfolds.... and...

##    
[WWWEEEEEEEEEEWOOOOOOOWEEEEEEWOOOOOOOOOO]

**News Anchor 1** : They're off! Park Seonghwa tears off down the hall and 'round the corner, picking up the mini rocketlauncher and holding the door open so Yunho can run through. They're going to scope out the top left corner of the map, and it looks like two teams have already run into one another in the bottom hallway! 

**News Anchor 1** : It's Wooyoung and Yeosang with the foam hatchet versus Mingi and Hongjoong with the heartbreaker bow! The two teams are backing away from each other, and they'll fight another time

 **News Anchor 4** : Choi San has found the mag-less sentinel, which has slowed him down, but hold on a minute, it looks like they're going to wait it out. They're in the bottom left corner of the map, right where Yunho and Seonghwa might come by... yes! He's done it! First hit of the game to Choi San with the sentinel, he will go weaponless for the time being while Yunho and Seonghwa go back to the start!

 **News Anchor 4** : Eunha, how are things where you are? 

**News Anchor 2** : ( _slightly echoed_ ) Jung Wooyoung has found the three-foot foam sword, giving him and his mate the two melee weapons of the game! 

**News Anchor 2** : ( _while exiting from a locker_ ) The melee weapons are arguably the best in a situation like this. We'll see how this plays out. Back to you, Moonyoung! 

**News Anchor 4** : Thanks Eunha, sounds like there's a lot of action going on. We'll hear a word from our sponsors, and then catch back up with you all after a short break!

++

**News Anchor 4** : Welcome back to Day 4 of the fourth bi-annual KQ Games, I'm your host Moonyoung-

 **News Anchor 1** : And I'm Kangho, and we are about a quarter of the way in and folks, competition is fierce. Let's talk about the real heavy hitters of this game- Choi Jongho and Park Seonghwa

 **News Anchor 4** : The Omega, Park, has been on top of his game, escaping a four-way standoff in the middle of the open hall, managed to get both himself and Jeong out of that blind curve passage without a hitch. He's a good contender, and if he can find the One True Dart, they've got a good shot at winning this

 **News Anchor 1** : That's if they can avoid the Alpha. He just hit someone with the three-foot foam sword and now has the overhead slingshot. Five hits, no respawns in just under 20 minutes! Can he be stopped? 

**News Anchor 4** : We'll just have to wait and see, but Kangho- Jongho looks like he's on the hunt. Who could he be going after?

 **News Anchor 1** : It might be Wooyoung and Yeosang, down in corridor 2. Yeosang might be too far since he's looking out the other door, but it's possible he's caught wind of Wooyoung

 **News Anchor 4** : I heard that Wooyoung's scent is that of cotton candy mint, which is quite difficult to pick up. Do we have confirmation on this?

 **News Anchor 2** : I don't know. Taemin?

 **Manager 1** : My name is Taeyong! 

**News Anchor 1** : Cotton candy mint Wooyoung is unconfirmed, but here comes Jongho and San with the Kronos! Two fires, two misses, he shoots... score! Jung Wooyoung is down! They will switch and Jongho will pick up the slamfire triad!

[ _yodellayheehoo_ ~]

[ _snort_ ]

 **News Anchor 4** : Uh oh, it looks like Hongjoong has employed Yeosang's Hide and Seek yodel tactic, he's now going after the source of the laughter, which is Choi San!

 **News Anchor 4** : Stay tuned, folks! We'll be back in a moment after this recap of the games thus far! 

++

**News Anchor 1** : Welcome back friends, family, Atiny- we have just passed the halfway point in today's challenge, and quite a bit has happened. It appears the blowpipe has become a favorite, as Song Mingi once had it, though ever since he shot Yeosang he's been trying to get it back. 

**News Anchor 4** : Kim Hongjoong has been diligently looking for the One True Dart, and you can see on our maps that it is right here which means he may find it. Eunha, what's the situation down there?

 **News Anchor 2** : Well, things are getting pretty heated over here, and it's not just because of the Omegas! I'm standing in the hall right at the spot where Jeong Yunho and Choi Jongho were locked in a fierce battle of strength not two minutes! It was up to Seonghwa and San to shoot one another around the Alphas, or to shoot their opponent's Alpha, but Seonghwa managed to land a hit on San, the first of the challenge, with the heartbreaker bow! 

**News Anchor 1** : So difficult to preduct, but hold up! Looking at our screens and where Hongjoong is looking, it looks like he might just--

 **News Anchor 4** : Folks, we are BACK and we are in business! 

**News Anchor 4:** KIM HONGJOONG HAS FOUND THE DART!

 **News Anchor 4** : Look at him celebrating! They've get a nice bunch of points for that, don't you think? 

**News Anchor 1** : Absolutely. But they better get going first, otherwise Jongho and San may come out of the top right door and spot them-- too late!

 **News Anchor 1** : Oh no, it looks like another standoff is going on now between Mingi, Hongjoong, San and Jongho in the main hall! 

**News Anchor 4** : Shhh do you hear that?

 **News Anchor 1:** What is it?

[miscellaneous screaming]

[intensified miscellaneous screaming]

[lots of footsteps all at once, then one pair trailing off]

 **News Anchor 2** : Ladies and gentlemen, Jeong Yunho with the three-foot foam Nerf sword!!!

++

**News Anchor 1** : We are here in the final few minutes of Day 4's One True Dart game, I'm Kangho-

 **News Anchor 4** : And I'm Moonyoung

 **News Anchor 4** : And I think Jongho still has the dart. Eunha!

 **News Anchor 2;** I can confirm that Choi Jongho has the One True Dart. San just hit Park Seonghwa with the Sharpfire and is now running up the top right corridor, around the bend, but uh oh!

 **News Anchor 3** : HAS ANYONE SEEN THE BLOWPIPE?

 **News Anchor 2** : Here comes Yeosang with the overhead slingshot, Wooyoung with the strongarms.... They're going for it! 

**News Anchor 1** : And it looks like... yes!!! Choi Jongho has hit Kang Yeosang with the One True Dart! This is history, folks!!! What a time to be alive!

##    
[WWWEEEEEEEEEEWOOOOOOOWEEEEEEWOOOOOOOOOO]

[confetti pods opening; firecrackers]

[startled screams]

 **News Anchor 5** : That's a wrap! Congratulations to Choi Jongho and Choi San for winning Day 4! May your celebratory meal be delicious!

 **News Anchor 5** : What a great game. We've seen a lot of changes in the past two years, and it's been a real treat. The six of them- 

**News Anchor 5** : Wait a minute

  
++

They spend an extra hour looking for Hongjoong and Mingi, who went down a service tunnel they weren't supposed to go down thinking it was some secret level. Hongjoong had come up with a hairbrained scheme to pop up on a completely different side of the map and startle the rest of the members, they just needed to find the exit. While they didn't get any points for shooting their teammates, they did get bonus points for finding a stretch of catacombs believed to be legend, for which they were thanked profusely by three universities and the local historical society.

Wooyoung and Yeosang and Jongho and San each give each other kisses before going back to their respective sides of the building. Seonghwa and Hongjoong snuggle together in a cute Omega pile while Yunho and Mingi stay up most of the night giggling to one another in an equally as cute Alpha pile. 

No one is really paying attention to the score.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on a few games my friends and I used to play in the basement of the library  
> I have another fic that I want to try to do in this format because I think it's cool


	6. All Star

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to Day 5, the Bucket Maze

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These chapters are way harder to write without the sleep deprivation.  
> Based on that Spartan race I did in 2014

Day 5 is dubbed the Bucket Maze, and really, no one is sure where they find all these mazes because Hongjoong has a great memory and he's at least 120% sure that they've never been to the same maze twice. He's so confident that he could fully convince himself and convince a total stranger 20% too. Or maybe he could convince two people to be 60% sure.   
Whatever. Those were just numbers. The point is that they're headed for another maze and Hongjoong's brain cells are bouncing off each other at light speed. He's got this. He squeezes Seonghwa's hand and lets his lavender coconut ocean scent form a comforting cloud over them. 

  
It's a long trek to today's Game site. They take a winding path through the mountains and over a rickety bridge and end up parking, unexpectedly, in the middle of a grassy field that is decidedly not maze-like. The members buzz with excitement over the change in pace, pleased to be away from the confines of buildings and in the arms of nature, even if they are tremendously confused. Exiting the van, Hongjoong can eight banners at the base of a mountain rocketing up so high that it hurts his neck to look at the peak. A defunct skilift waves overhead in the wind. 

They argue about who gets which banner before lining up by age, then by height, then by traditional performance order with Seonghwa and Yunho on one end, Mingi and Jongho on the other, and Hongjoong sandwiched between WooSanSang. It doesn't matter too much to the others, but Wooyoung has an affinity for the color purple and San is like a Wooyoung-seeking missile, so this is the only formation that makes everyone happy. After giving the signal, the staff come around and secure bucket hats to each member's head, effectively blinding them. Hongjoong can see a little bit of green if he tilts his head back far enough, but not much else. 

"Now what?" Yunho says from off to his side. 

A siren goes off. 

"Wait! But we haven't been given directions!!!" Wooyoung yells, running forward and immedialy crashing into Yeosang, who has no idea who or what just hit him, his scream moving from near Hongjoong's head to somewhere around Hongjoong's waist, then down to the ground. Hongjoong stumbles over the uneven field to where he's pretty sure he saw a rope tied to a post leading up the mountain. There isn't any clear indicator of what they needed to do besides that, so that has to be the key. His hands wave out in front of him and accidentally slap San, causing him to lose his footing in a divot with a dolphin screech. The rope he finds is frayed, but it's his only indicator as to where he's supposed to go, so he clings to it anyway. 

++

It's like the birdbox challenge, except worse. The rope literally leads them over the river and through the woods, and Hongjoong has never been much of a water creature. Mingi bumps his head on what must be a dock in the middle of the river and complains loudly enough for everyone across the whole obstacle course can hear him. He's pretty sure that he could hear Manager Sungkyu laughing from all the way back at the sandbag obstacle (which he would rate as a -10/10, would not do again, challenge if anyone was curious). 

The woods would be nicer if he wasn't tripping over roots every ten seconds, but it's calm and quiet because he hasn't heard anyone in a while since he's the only one brave and stupid and with strong enough ankles to try running through the course. Whoever was on his left most recently- possibly Jongho, since it sounds like he left his rope- tripped over some kind of pail carry challenge while the person on his right- could be anyone, they didn't make a sound- ran into something sounding suspiciously like a boulder. He picks up an object- he's not sure what it is- that's long and flat and suspiciously cardboard-like. Hongjoong has completed his ffith challenge, and as far as he knows, he doing well. 

Not like he can tell though.

Time means nothing when the bucket hat is on. It's like he's gone to a new dimension, one where the difference between two minutes and two hours is meaningless, and he's run face-first into three too many trees to consider himself sane anymore. The challenges that they've run into (literally) have been staggered, so there's no telling who's ahead and who isn't. Hongjoong finishes getting through the tire pull which led him to the next and stumbles into the person on his left. 

"Seonghwa?!" he yells, hoping his mate is next to him. 

"It's Yunho." Yunho states, one large hand clasped onto Hongjoong's face so he can verify who's next to him. He takes his hand off, now certain that recognizing his members in this way is not one of his many talents. 

"What? Did you switch?"

"No???"

He can imagine Yunho's head tilting to the side, mouth in a confused pout. 

"You were so far away at the start. Where are you going?" 

"I'm just following my rope." 

Hongjoong keeps one hand on his rope while the other waves about looking for the rope now next to him. When did this happen? And how did no one else notice? Was it the staggering of the challenges? 

"Ow!" He hears from somewhere in the distance, along with bodies crashing to the floor on top of crunchy dead leaves. They must be getting further into the forest now. 

"Gwa!" Yeosang says after a moment. 

"Is this my rope or yours?" is the response. 

"... I feel like you're trying to show me something when I can't see a thing." 

And from another corner of the forest, he hears someone shout, "What did I just touch?!"

He knows this is supposed to be a race, but the fact that they're equally as lost makes him consider putting aside the Games for a moment. While he was a competitive person, he was still the leader at the end of the day, and the last thing he wants is to lose a packmate deep in the wilderness atop a closed ski mountain. He's about to call for Jongho, San, and Mingi when from deep in the woods comes a singular word: 

- _some_

The silence the word leaves behind leaves a heavy, empty space, around them. Nervous butterflies eat at his core, urging him to get moving, that there's danger coming for them. A shiver runs down Hongjoong's spine. 

"What was that?" Yunho whispers. 

In an instant, a deafening roar overtakes the mountain. The words vibrate in their skulls from all directions. It may have been the rumbling base or the fact that they're blind in an unfamiliar place, but it feels like something is coming for them and Hongjoong isn't keen on finding out what. 

- __

# _BODY ONCE TOLD ME THE WORLD WAS GONNA RULE ME_

"GO! GO! GO!" 

All of the members run crisscross past each other like large battleships in the night. 

++

As soon as someone (he's not sure who) crosses the last hurdle, a loud metal bell goes off. It reminds him of ISAC, when they were doing the track and field events and they were on the last lap. He follows his rope, certain that the end must be near. 

And he's right. 

The edge of the hill comes faster than he can realize what's happening, and by the time he realizes what an eggregious error he's made, gravity has already begun punishing him.   
He can hear even more confused screaming as they roll down the muddy embankment. It isn't painful- just disorienting and like being put through the washing machine. Seonghwa tries to go too fast and falls down the hill face first, but it's Hongjoong who falls just wrong enough to land on his makeshift cardboard sled just wrong enough to go sliding down the hill like a kid on a snow day, except there's no snow and the ride is a million times more terrifying. 

Hongjoong's time is marked down at 4:44:57 as he slides past a little bump that must be the finish line, and the fact that there are extra slots on the board makes him slightly fearful for their 5th bi-annual Games. While one staff steadies him to his feet, another de-buckets him, causing him to cry on camera because the sun is so bright. With tears still streaming down his muddied cheeks, Seonghwa comes barreling into endzone, immediately being received by the staffs for de-bucketing, followed by Mingi, San, and Yunho. Wooyoung slips at the top of the hill and ends up sliding down on his butt, but Hongjoong supposes it's better than the way Jongho went down the way Hongjoong did; on his stomach, but without a piece of cardboard to smooth his ride. After a minute of wondering where his eighth member is, Hongjoong realizes that Yeosang is and has been boing-boing-boinging in the wrong direction and retrieves, ending the day's Game as he crosses the finish line at 5:02:17. The staff finally de-bucket the Alpha and they trek back to the car. The staffs can take care of deconstructing the course- they've had enough activity to last a lifetime. 

"Good job guys!" Hongjoong wheezes, the effort and the exhaustion hitting him all at once, "Let's go home!"

++

They compare cuts and scrapes on the ride back, all eight of them in the same car for once and four times louder than usual. Even though it hurt in the moment, each purple splotch and mess of red thornbush scratches was a story, and boy, were there _stories_. They can hear each other's groans of relief as the hot water washes over them, cleaning off the caked mud from the last hill and the effort of their vastly different challenges, leaving them squeaky-clean and ready for bed. Hongjoong kisses his mate's booboo all better, though Seonghwa groans a little more than necessary and does mild aegyo just to watch his cutie pie take care of him. 

"Did we do well?" he asks when they snuggle in for the night. Hongjoong peeks up at the sign outside their window.

**IWDFY** : 4000  
**PERISH** : 3800

"Yeah, we did real well." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Coworkers: How are you doing  
> Me: Well the best way I can describe it is  
> Me: "blows into a kazoo*  
> Me: *screams*  
> Me: It's fine, everything is fine


	7. Basket Weavers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 6, aka Dead by Daylight, sort of

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while y'all

Everyone remembers the SS WooSan, strongest of the aquatic vessels, from their unconventional shipbuilding challenge in their second Games. No one is sure how they managed to make that haybale float for so long, but KQ seriously considered lending the Omegas to the Korean military to make an instructional video on advanced basket weaving. They eventually decided against it, as during their test recording, the two divulged twelve too many secrets, and it would be right off for them to say any more. Legend has it that the footage is somewhere in the company building, but no one knows where. In times of horrible decision making, they tear the place apart looking for it, but are still yet to strike gold. The basement is next on their list, but Mingi refuses to go down there because he saw the movie Parasite, and Seonghwa won't go down there because everyone knows the basement is where the classic horror movie kills happen, thank you very much.

"Welcome to your worst nightmare! Put your coats over there and we'll get started!" the attendant says, pointing to a couch behind the desk. 

Seonghwa hadn't been paying too much attention to his surroundings when he let the others pick the room. 

Now, he kind of wished he had. 

They'd spent the car ride into the heart of the city mostly asleep, all eight members still exhausted after Day 5's events. The bruises they can feel are still coming into view like sickly blue algae blooms across their legs and arms. Yunho had crushed Hongjoong in his sleep, and neither of them could be bothered to move since they were just so tired. Once the managers managed to pull them out of the vehicle and separate Wooyoung from Yeosang and Jongho from San, they'd led them to different halls on opposite sides of the parking lot. On a plaque above the doorway were the words

**ESCAPE ROOM**

  
The basic premise is that they're going to be locked in a basement and need to get out. Every fifteen minuts, they'll hear a buzzsaw. There are clues and whatnot which will give them the code to a padlock on the door, which they need to enter in exactly one hour, which is right before the murderer comes back. 

"Whoawhoawhoa what do you mean, there's a murderer?!" San pushes between Seonghwa and Hongjoong like an explorer parting tall grass. 

The bored Beta looks at him with standard teenage angst. "The concept is 'Murder Basement'."

"So what happens if we don't make it out?" 

"Then the murderer gets you!" The Omega attendant next to her says with a startling amount of enthusiasm. 

"I'm too young to die!" San wails. Honjoong smacks him in the shoulder. 

"It's not an actual murderer. No one is dying." he scoffs, but then turns to confirm with their manager. "Right?"

"Right. No death. It's just a challenge. Your friends from the other team will be doing a room of similar difficulty." The attendant holds a hand up to her earpiece, then responds in English. "I've just been informed that your friends have picked the same room and asked the 'are we actually going to die' question. I like you guys!" 

The Beta rolls her eyes. "You have five minutes before you go in. If you need a hint or want to get out, there will be a camera in the top corner of the room. Just yell into it." 

  
With that, they're left to brainstorm. 

  
Discussion of gameplans doesn't get them very far. Part of Hongjoong's personal brain training over the week leading up to the Games was reviewing escape room challenges. While he knows generally what to expect, it was impossible to tell what kind of pizzles they'd be given. They resolve to just do their best, and if anything, Yeosang and San can break down the door. 

"No Beta! We die like men!!!" Hongjoong puts his hand in the center of their strange square. Yeosang, Seonghwa, and San put theirs on top of his and do a hoo-rah. The attendant opens a door in the middle of the row, leading into a pitch black closet-like room which she herds them into. The beam of light coming from the hallway begins to thin as she closes the door. 

"Ready? 3... 2... 1..." 

The lights come on in the closet revealing a the walls to be a small cage with chains around it.

"Ok, does anyone see a way to get out?" There isn't much in there with them- just a barrel and a lamp. A large trunk rests next to what looks like a carpenter's workbench on the far wall under a dim light. Somewhere in front of them and to the right, a door slams. Seonghwa screams. Yeosang reflexively screams back, louder. 

"The key is over here!" Hongjoong reaches through the grates to pick up a key, which is looped into the chain. He follows it to the other side of the cage, which leads to a small lock. "Pass it on!" 

Once they realize the task at hand, they work together to bring the key around the edges to the lock, shoving it inside. 

The door to the cage swings open, the lights flickering on as Seonghwa flips the switch previously out of reach. They fan out around the center table, venturing to the collection of seats next to the workbench, which San can now see is covered in burgundy splotches. 

"We've got a lot of room to cover..." 

++

Most of the next twenty minutes are spent trying to open different locked boxes. Each one holds a cord of a different length with a handful of knots tied into them. Seonghwa had a theory about the number and type, but it turned out to be a dead end. 

  
A partition separates them from another room barely visible through the dirty window. San has finally given up on trying to get the letter lock on the giant crate after making it to BBBWV. Hongjoong is looking through a special eye glass hidden in a box they found the code for after Yeosang crawed into a secret cubby and pulled out the key. 

"How do we even get over there?" He stands on his tippy-toes, forlorn. It feels like they've tried everything. He throws back his head to let out a cathartic scream and immediately he knows what they have to do.

"Look! Up there!" He points to the ceiling, where they can now see a handful of gears and levers, each attached to one of six ropes tied off to the side. "They're connected to the door! If we move these, they'll unlock the passage." 

Yeosang looks up at the mess of interlocking pieces, and he can also see that moving them in the wrong order will cause certain ones to block others. "But what order?" 

The thunderous sound of a buzzsaw sounds in the distance, growing to bone-shaking volume before fading. The Omegas and Alpha run sweep the room again. There has to be something, right? Could it really just be a red herring? Yeosang takes a step back to see the whole picture. 

"I've got it! Everyone, grab two ropes!" 

He reads off the little dice etched into the supporting beam. Hongjoong has the ropes for 1 and 2, Seonghwa has 3 and 4, and San has 5 and 6. They pull according to the numbers he yells. They wait with baited breath. 

  
The door beings to rumble, then lift away revealing a new, and frankly terrifying, section of the basement. 

++

The buzzsaw makes all four members jump. There isn't much time left- they need to get out and they're almost there. 

"Try it again!" Seonghwa yells from the first room. 

He checks over the trunk and wonders if they have enough time. Could they solve it before the murderer comes back? Aish, probably not.... Were there any more clues in the original cage block? No, nothing there... On the near wall is a set of tapestry cords, underneath which are dates on a calendar. 

There has to be something they're missing, but what? They got the key, they solved the puzzle to get to the back room. There's just the puzzle on the table, but he's pretty sure they don't need it. His hand brushes over the tapestries, rustling them so that they fall-

"IT WAS MISALIGNED!!!" He screams to the others, "TRY 053122!!!" 

Seonghwa rejoins the group, his internal come on come on come on mantra going crazy. He tries to peek over Yeosang's shoulder, but he's too far away. 

"Did it go???"

"HEY!" A voice booms, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" 

All heads turn.   
There, in the darkness, is a figure they've never seen before. He must be the size of a direwolf, or maybe a small bear. Immediately, Yeosang's instincts kick in, the Alpha pushing the Omegas through the door so he can shield them from the giant man who's just rounded the corner and is now barrelling towards them. 

"Guys!" He growls, preparing for the worst. 

Hongjoong punches the code into the pad, the device beeping and unlocking the door as the man begins walking towards them. 

"GUYS!!!"

The door pops open with a little click.  
Hongjoong screams.   
Seonghwa reflexively screams, louder.   
San screams back, loudest. 

San runs out of the room so fast that the only thing capable of stopping him is Seonghwa. He jumps up for an impromptu fireman carry, and it ends with both of them ramming into Hongjoong like a trainwreck. Yeosang stumbles out, glad not to have been in the strange man's clutches and catching his breath atop the dogpile. (Manager Taeyong records the whole thing.) (He plans to go to their PD to ask for the shot of the dogpile to be made into a photocard.) (He's very sure the answer will be 'yes'.) 

"Did we do it?" Hongjoong wheezes from the bottom of the pile. 

"Congrats! You made it out! That room has a 15% solve rate. You did well." The young Omega woman from earlier smiles. 

They unassemble from their death's head-lavender coconut- honeysuckle creme- wildflower honey-smelling heap and thank the staff for letting them use their facility. They apologize for accientally breaking everything, but it's ok- the staff laugh and say that it was the most amusing thing they've seen all week. 

++

The slamming of car doors is the defining moment marking the end of their day. The manager puts on his left turn signal and waits at the light so they can go back to the dorm. 

"That was a lot of fun!" Seonghwa chirps from the passenger seat, "I'd definitely like to do that again! Maybe not the whole 'you've got an hour until you die' part, but it was good!"

"Did you guys make it?" San folds his arms over the back of the seat to face his mate. He's squished into the wall next to the giants.

"Sort of. Mingi opened the lock to the trunk and accidentally set off a trap, so he had to sit in the time-out box. But the rest of us made it!"

"That's good! Sad that Mingi got killed though." 

"Tragic. Press F to pay respects." The entire car minus Mingi bows their heads.

"Stop telling everyone I'm dead!" 

++

The scores are already posted on the board, but they don't really care. The embolded group heads into the company building basement to look for the WooSan basket weaving tape.   
They all come back empty handed except for Hongjoong, who proudly showed off a very ominous-looking book with a strange smell wafting from it. All members of both teams go to sleep together to keep the nightmares of murder basements away.

 **IWDFY** : 4900  
**PERISH** : 5350

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What a time to be alive  
> Stay safe out there, y'all


	8. Irresistible

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Moving day 7's events to day 8 because I'm out of ideas. Will update either tonight or tomorrow with the final chapter.

They don't talk about Day 7. The short version is that there was a table of objects and they had to match said objects without instructions, but that would take some heavy liberties since it leaves out the part with the antiques and the chemistry lesson. Yunho is covered in bruises from hauling all of the objects up three flights of stairs while Seonghwa's and Hongjoong's hands are rough from using the makeshift bucket pulley, but they feel good about the results. 

As per tradition, no members are allowed to know the scores going into day 8. Needless to say, both teams are feeling quite confident about their chances on the final challenge. 

**IWDFY** : ???

 **PERISH** : ???


	9. Levels

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final challenge is here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> S/O to A for the line about Hongjoong and the aux

"WE'RE READY FOR THE CHALLENGE!"

It's about 5 in the morning and the sun is squinting at them wondering why the hell they're up before it is. Mingi is falling asleep on Yunho's shoulder and Hongjoong looks like he's about to expire, but today is the last day to make a difference until they do it all again in 6 months. This is a matter of pride. 

"WHAT'S THE CHALLENGE?!" 

BB Trippin and Eden are still in the car, waiting to follow the vans. BB Trippin is sleeping on Eden, which he doesn't mind because he's light and Eden is quite fond of him. Fond enough where the noonas are set on playing matchmaker on their behalf. 

"PD JUST SHOW US THE CHALLENGE SO WE CAN GO BACK TO SLEEP!"

Only half of the managers are present, but all of makeup and wardrobe carpooled together in their own rendition of the Games to watch Day 8. They've been sworn not to intervene, but they're close to jumping in to stop San and Seonghwa from falling asleep while standing up. 

"SOMEONE SMITE ME!"

The screen where their scores were previously posted flashes twice to draw their attention. It cuts to black for a moment before giving the most clear-cut instructions of the Games thus far:

_Like Retweet Share_

Hongjoong does a thumbs up. "COOL."

The members trudge back to their designated areas (minus Wooyoung, who ends up getting carried by Jongho after he sits down and falls back asleep) to sleep until it's time to get up on their solidarily-agreed upon start time of 8:00. 

++

The morning commuters that Monday aren't entirely sure what to make of Team I Would Die For You, but that is ok since they loudly announce that they will be out here all day unless a power like unruly weather or a determined pack of power-walking ahjummas decides otherwise. They've chosen a sidewalk with heavy foot traffic near some universities and office buildings to hopefully capitalize upon the large of number of people who are sure to pass them and stare in confusion. Jongho and his impressive strength haul four large speakers Wooyoung found in the company basement and then convinced staff to let him borrow for their Secret Plan. They're daisy-chained along the edge of a conveniently-placed decorative circle in the middle of the sidewalk where Mingi can easily access his phone once he's hooked it to the aux. He scrolls through his Spotify, smiles, and presses 'shuffle'. 

And then, it begins. 

During the car ride, Jongho and Mingi had discussed doing an interpretive dance version of a hand-picked selection of Reddit posts to the tune of whatever Lo-Fi channel Yunho found first. They had also agreed to not tell each other what they were planning, as to keep the improvisation real, nor what order they would be interpreting in. This was an opportune time for Wooyoung to unleash his secret weapon, the HalaHalaphone, to amplify his stage directions. Wooyoung had never given stage directions before and was thus unhelpful in trying to organize them, but he got an A+ for effort and a number of passing Beta students to coo and snap a pic of their QR code to vote for them. The last Reddit reading ends just in time for them to break for lunch, so Yunho scribbles a note on the back of a poster where they printed the QR code. 

When they come back, it's time for the 'Classics' playlist curated by Yunho. 

The manager assigned to Team IWDFY is trying her best to look like she doesn't know them when Mingi and Yunho begin breakdancing to the remix version of 'Never Gonna Give You Up'. She gets up and walks away for the entirety of 'My Heart Will Go On' when they start headbanging, but she comes back to answer questions from some mildly concerned business people around 6:00 when everyone is getting out of work. At 8:00 when the moon comes out, they decide to go back. Jongho hauls the speakers back into the van and the members get back in. 

"I think today was a success!" Wooyougn declares, sweating from moving their ancient speakers and the oversized hand-sharpied sign declaring who they were. The members agree. They can't see the stats to confirm their suspicions, but with so many people seeing them, they had to have done well int he challenge. Hopefully it would be enough to beat the other team...

++

Team Then Perish starts off the morning strong with Seonghwa and Hongjoong plotting over the plan they haven't told Yeosang or San about yet. It involves social justice and climbing gear and Hongjoong has been dreaming of doing something like this ever since Atiny started catching onto the little designs he hid in his stage outfits. This is the perfect chance to show off. Even if they don't win for this (which they definitely will, there's no way they can't with what they've got planned), it'll be a great way to spread awareness. They pile into the car and buckle themselves in. 

_Bang_  
_Bang_  
_Bang_  
_Bang_

"Wait I need to be in the front seat." 

_Click_  
_Click_

"No wait, other side- I'll drive. Swap with me."

_Click_  
_Bang_  
_Bang_

"Are ya ready, kids?"

"We need to make a pitstop at the craft store."

"If Hongjoong gets the aux I'm gonna have vertigo and die."

"I'm hungry." 

Seonghwa sighs. Sometimes it's hard being the eldest. 

One caffeinated pit stop later, and the team is debating in the middle of aisle 3 in the craft store. Seonghwa says that he calculated it and they only need ten cans of each color while Hongjoong says that give them, they need 15 and Yeosang goes ahead and buys 12 while his hyungs are still arguing so they have enough time to get to the 'drop location', as San so ominously named it, before the midday rush occurs. 

San is on backdrop duty since he can paint the fastest and it doesn't matter if the lines are clean so much as they're there. The omega is practically running circles around Yeosang, who's been tasked with sketching the general outline, and Hongjoong, who is working on fine details. Seonghwa takes great care covering his small corner of the wall so he can hand-paint the QR code leading back to their designated 'Vote for Team Perish!' post on the group Twitter. He lets out a cheer when the manager assigned to them snaps a pic and it leads right back to their voting post. Teaking a step back, they can fully appreciate the hard work that went into their all mural spanning the boardwalk. A giddy sort of bubble rises in Hongjoong as his chest swells with pride. He's so lucky to have a group like theirs. 

"We did it!" Seonghwa marks several 'stand here' spots where the viewing angle is best. San starts putting away the spray paint cans back in the box. 

"It's amazing!:

"It's a work of art." 

"It's perfect! Hongjoong declares, proud paint-covered hands on his hips. 

"It's without a license." the man behind them in the security uniform grumbles. 

The team is belatedly arrested for defacing public property and brought down to the local precinct. They spend four, five hours having a lovely conversation with their manager, who attempted to intervene and was taken as well, before PD comes to get them. When they get back to the dorm, Team I Would Die For You is there to make jokes and use full-body tackling as a form of greeting. 

"Other than that, how did it go?" Yunho asks. The members begin settling in for the night. Tomorrow they'll get the results, and the winning team will get to choose their meal. 

"Pretty good," Hongjoong wheezes from underneath the pile, "I think we'll win." 

Mingi rolls on top of him, after which the rest of the 99z lay across _him_ , and Jongho lines himself up to launch at the superman-style for the express purpose of making them all yelp. He lays down beside them instead. 

"We'll just have to wait and see." 

++

"Dig in, guys!"

It's unclear why they fight when they all end up sharing the food anyway. Their celebratory meal consists of trays of seafood, landfood, rice cakes, and noodles. A cake and two tubs of sorbet are occupying the freezer and the counter is covered in various fancy drinks. Wooyoung is shoving chicken into Yeosang's mouth while San and Jongho share a comically large plate of tteokbokki. 

Once dinner is finished, the members speed-clean and shower in mate pairs for speed and cuddling reasons. They retire to the living room, where all of the mattresses have been arranged. The vast assortment of plushies are mixed in with the plush blankets. The rest of the night is spent with members alternating who they're snuggling with and which videos are being shown on the ceiling through that cool projector thing Hongjoong bought. The games are exhausting, but they don't have anything to do tomorrow and can enjoy each other's company. Jongho is already asleep with San watching YouTube in his arms next to Wooyoung, who has taken up residence in Seonghwa's personal bubble. 

"I love you guys."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We made it. We made it??? It's always such a surprise getting to the end of a fic.  
> Anyway, thanks for keeping up with this little delirium-induced story. I'll proofread this eventually when things aren't going to absolute chaos. Hopefully some other stories will be up soon!


End file.
